So I�just sat and read all of my entries that I�had stored. Today was the first time someone on this web site commented about my journal. I really never considered that other people may actually read it. . . . It striked my interest though, because I�know that I�am a�sickly, repetitive, individual�in my entries...and though I�write the same problems, feelings, actions over and over, I still continue the insanity and never change things. I�read entries that I wrote like June 07, and itapos;s astounding what progress I�have not made. Lol. I canapos;t do anything but laugh about it right? Jesus. (that was not in vain, more a mercy call).........Anyway,
��������� Today was rough. I feel bad I�did not call the doctor�I work with to inform her I�wouldnapos;t be attending the sermon at the mosque, it would be my first one........my phone died, and�I�hit 2 meetings.�
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������������������ Today: Confronted "M", for some reason she felt she needed to lie to me, she acted as if she was inferior to me. I�was not demonstrating attitude as if that was so. It made me sad for her. I explained she did not have to lie to me about any of it, I�held no position to argue or scold for anything done between the two....however, she still felt she needed to lie. . . . Sometimes life is astonishing....Beauty really is only skin deep.�
�������������������������� My life is a FunHouse, and I�keep walking into the distorted mirror. Over and over again...I have broken 4 times now. When will I shatter? Iapos;m not made of glass, but wood rather. I canapos;t be saved when I�donapos;t want to save myself. I canapos;t expect when I donapos;t want. I canapos;t hear if I donapos;t listen. I canapos;t love, if I donapos;t love thyself. I canapos;t hide wearing black in a padded white room. Need to put my shoes back on the right feet. I�have to stop living oh jeez, I forgot this behind attitude...need to turn around. No I�do not. Listen to the people Heapos;s speaking through. Listen and do. Listen and do. Listen and do. Or donapos;t..........and you wonapos;t.............anything.
I�make so much sense. Sexy wink.
�
��������� Today was rough. I feel bad I�did not call the doctor�I work with to inform her I�wouldnapos;t be attending the sermon at the mosque, it would be my first one........my phone died, and�I�hit 2 meetings.�
����������������������������������������
������������������ Today: Confronted "M", for some reason she felt she needed to lie to me, she acted as if she was inferior to me. I�was not demonstrating attitude as if that was so. It made me sad for her. I explained she did not have to lie to me about any of it, I�held no position to argue or scold for anything done between the two....however, she still felt she needed to lie. . . . Sometimes life is astonishing....Beauty really is only skin deep.�
�������������������������� My life is a FunHouse, and I�keep walking into the distorted mirror. Over and over again...I have broken 4 times now. When will I shatter? Iapos;m not made of glass, but wood rather. I canapos;t be saved when I�donapos;t want to save myself. I canapos;t expect when I donapos;t want. I canapos;t hear if I donapos;t listen. I canapos;t love, if I donapos;t love thyself. I canapos;t hide wearing black in a padded white room. Need to put my shoes back on the right feet. I�have to stop living oh jeez, I forgot this behind attitude...need to turn around. No I�do not. Listen to the people Heapos;s speaking through. Listen and do. Listen and do. Listen and do. Or donapos;t..........and you wonapos;t.............anything.
I�make so much sense. Sexy wink.
�
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